illequipped | i make another inbox post

[They sure are going to stay like this for a while yet. They both need the break, as it were, from the heart-pounding tasks of looking at each other and occasionally kissing. And really, Emil simply wants this to last as long as it can - after the way Lalli was returned to him, hmm, comatose, and with his next night shift looming in the near future... damn! Sometimes, you just have to cuddle up to a boy and stay there until other obligations come knocking.

So that's the plan. Stay here with his boy, maybe take a nap, maybe only get up later for a meal... a perfect day!]

Then I'll be awake when you come back from work. [...Well, maybe. One daytime nap does not guarantee Emil's ability to stay up all night, but he can try. He's feeling soft enough to try, just because.

Either way, it already feels inevitable that the comfort and warmth of all of this puts him right to sleep; he lets his eyes shut in advance, but he's not out yet.]

Or you can wake me before you go.

[Because, oh, there will be a see-you-later kiss, he's already thinking about it.]

[What would be better: coming back to the room to find Emil awake and ready to pet his hair until he falls asleep, or coming back to the room and curling up next to a warm, still-sleeping Emil? Not that he's, um, brave enough—comfortable enough—to do that particular thing at this stage in the game, but it's still a (surprisingly nice) thought that briefly crosses his mind. What if! What if, one day...

...Well. Better to focus on the here and the now, hence:]

Pfh. [A soft, soft noise, because he knows Emil won't last until just before dawn—and it's fine. Honest. Emil being awake would only tempt Lalli to stay up later (earlier??) than he absolutely should, so. So.] I can wake you.

[If that's what Emil wants, which? Why? Is he that worried that Lalli is going to knock himself out again, or does he... genuinely want to see Lalli before he zips away for the night? Lalli's still riding that "Emil likes me" high; he's allowing himself to hope that it's the latter, which is why he resists the urge to press the issue. It's safer to just, you know, focus on the way Emil's hair feels as it slips through his fingers, all while he listens and waits for Emil to say something—or for Emil's breathing to slowly even out. Sleepymil...

But even when Emil is, without a doubt, out, Lalli doesn't immediately follow him. He is... a weird boy. He wants to do weird things, like lean back to study Emil's sleeping face! Like lightly press a finger to as many places he's kissed as he can, just to remind himself that he did, before he leans back in to barely nuzzle into Emil's hair. He can't help it, really—he's weak to this dumb boy and his dumb hair and his dumb everything, and he's too, mmm, excited to sleep? Too happy, and that's a rare thing for him; he doesn't want it to end.

So how much rest did Lalli actually get? Don't ask. Don't even worry about it. What matters is that he's still right there with Emil when the light in the room begins to fade, and he's awake enough to know that it's time for him to... start moving. There's no need to rush, but he needs time to change, to hit up the bathroom, to grab a quick something to eat before his shift, to... wake Emil up...

Hmm. He carefully stretches; he briefly considers, like, not doing this, and yet he wriggles down anyway, putting himself eye-level with Emil and... shamelessly watching him sleep for a few extra seconds. He kissed this face. He can touch this face, which is what he eventually does. Just one hand, softly cupping Emil's cheek before he gives it the briefest of shakes.]

...Emil.

[Good! Morning! Hopefully Emil enjoys Lalli, like, blinking back at him right out the gate.]

[With the guarantee that Lalli will wake him later, Emil has the go-ahead to doze right off where he is. He's not especially tired - certainly not exhausted by any means - but this is comfortable, warm and safe and very much away from the rest of the stressful things about this city, so who can blame him! He deserves this nap.

And it's a good nap, with Emil deep enough asleep that Lalli doing his weird Lalli things doesn't wake him. He wouldn't be, hmm, surprised to wake up and find Lalli poking all over his face; Lalli stares at him all the time, so really, the bar has been set. The weirdness level is insurmountable.

So, naturally, when he does stir and open one eye to find Lalli staring at him as usual, he still isn't surprised. It takes him a few seconds to really wake up, feeling heavy and warm and not really wanting to move from his comfortable spot. But ah— Lalli has to go out and do his thing... yes, he remembers. And Lalli did wake him after all! That makes him smile, even as he fits his fingers between Lalli's and moves his hand away from his face - so he can smush his face into the pillow with a vague grumble about being awake. Just wait a second, this is how he wakes up.

Then he pushes himself up on his elbow, humming. He's here, he's up, hello, lovely boy. Waking up is the worst, but, hmm, waking up and seeing Lalli still here with him? Worth it.]

Are you going now?

[A sleepy smile, just for him... oh. Even if Emil falls right back asleep—which Lalli, like, half expects him to do when he dives face-first into that pillow—this brief moment together is suddenly very nice.

Emil actually sitting up, though, is... better. It's not like Lalli is going to be gone for a terribly long time, and yet he still takes this opportunity to tilt his head back and continue staring up at this familiar face. It was... a good morning! It was a good day, but—hmm. In between all of the kisses and soft words, something between them... changed? Moved from the back of the mind to the very forefront? And what if—seriously, what if—all it takes is one of them leaving this room for everything to go back...

Well, it's stupid! He's stupid! But it's not as if many good things in his life have, you know, managed to actually stick, which is why he lightly squeezes Emil's hand as his eyes flick back over in the direction of the window.]

...Soon.

[He has... some time. He can enjoy this for a few minutes longer, even if he doesn't know what to say.]

[When Lalli doesn't sit up with him, it takes all of Emil's self control not to flop back down there and go back to sleep on purpose, but this time with Lalli in his arms, so he can't slink off to run around until dawn. So that's where Emil is in his personal journey: all he wants to do is stay here and hold this weird boy and get stared at, but sadly for him, Lalli takes his job more seriously than Emil takes waiting tables at the landen restaurant.

Sad! Well, he'll have plenty of time to sit up in the dark and try to stay awake for when he returns. That's... fun... He wants to be awake when Lalli comes back, to hold him and touch his hair and tell him he's good some more, but is that likely? They'll find out.]

Hmm. [He wonders if they'll still give him something to eat at this hour in the kitchens, and also, how many times he can kiss Lalli before he really has to go to work. If he can stay awake, how many times can he kiss Lalli before they both fall asleep...

He will think about these in detail in a moment. Now,] You should get ready. But don't leave without coming back over here!

[...okay, it's Lalli, he really should just lay it out.]

So I can kiss you goodbye before you go.

[Lalli doesn't want to go anywhere until he absolutely has to, which is why he frowns ever so lightly as he looks back up at Emil. He knows just how thinly he can slice what little time he has left; he will gladly cut a few unnecessary steps from his routine—like, say, brushing his hair—in order to stay here and hold this hand for a while longer. Once he's up, he'll be antsy! Ready to go, go, go.

...Unless, of course, there really is a kiss on the table. Huh. Emil can watch that frown fade from Lalli's face as his offer sinks in, because oh... a smooch...]

Aha.

[A very intelligent noise from a very intelligent boy. So leaving the room for a few minutes means that nothing will change... something to consider as he stretches again, as he gives Emil's hand one last squeeze before he tugs his own hand free. He's gone twenty years without wanting to be kissed! Without wasting too much time thinking about kisses, really, and now it's all he can think about as he zooms off to take care of his business. It's not something he'll let distract him while he's on the clock; his job is his job, and he's determined to be very, very good at it, but while he isn't doing his scouting thing...

...Hmm! Nice! It's still nice when he slips back into the room a scant ten or so minutes later, all dressed and ready to—well. Ready to go, yes, but ready to be kissed. Hi, hello, he's now standing beside this bed, staring at Emil (as always) and trying to ignore that twinge of uncertainty he still feels. Emil said he would kiss him? He said.]

[The power of the promised kiss is immense... Emil understands this now. He spends his ten minutes just, hmm, lounging here lazily, since it's late and he doesn't have to go anywhere. At some point he sits all the way up and fusses his own hair mostly back into place, then scoots to the edge of the bed to sit there and... wait. To kiss Lalli.

It feels kind of... strange, but he supposes that's partly because he has nothing else to do at this hour, and this whole kissing-Lalli thing is, hmm, new? New and very thrilling, and probably worth talking about sooner or later. That can wait, though, as long as they both still want... this. He's pretty sure that's going to last, especially when Lalli does indeed come back for his kiss.

...And stares... That's his boy. Emil reaches for his hand, to tug him just an inch or so closer. He keeps his kiss promises; meet him halfway.]

Well, come here.

[He's sitting, so Lalli will have to lean down just a little bit, so Emil can kiss him on the cheek. ...Twice. And maybe once on the nose, because that was very cute before. He is naught but affection in a beautiful Swede shape...]

[Staring is his hobby! And Emil is nice to stare at, truth be told, but Lalli still leans down without any fuss whatsoever, hands settling on Emil's shoulders as he watches Emil stretch up to kiss him once, twice... three times? Pfft. Cheek kisses are, mmm, very nice; that nose kiss is, mmm, very silly, and it elicits a quiet puff of amusement.]

Emil.

["Don't be stupid," that tone suggests, but there's nothing seriously behind it. He's a gay baby who's eating up this affection, partly because he's greedy and partly because his pessimistic self worries that he'll come back from work and things will change back, so—well. A pleased hum as a hand slides up into Emil's hair, because he can't help it, really. He can't. Lalli has a hair kink and you've heard it here first.]

...More.

[He's keeping a close eye on the time like a responsible adult! He is! Plus he knows just how fast he can run.]

[This boy!! Lalli's not-a-protest-at-all makes Emil smile up at him again, delighted that his simple kisses can make Lalli happy like this. That's sooo nice— he could not possibly ask for more than that, but apparently Lalli could, which only makes Emil smile more. Greedy...]

I hope you know what time it is.

[Like, solely because Emil has no idea. He would gladly kiss Lalli until morning - well, if he didn't get sleepy in the middle again - so that's not so much a gentle scolding as a reminder that he, personally, is not interested in being responsible right now. He sits up a bit straighter, sliding his arms loosely around Lalli's waist and pressing another kiss to his cheek. Then the other cheek... It occurs to him that he could move down toward his neck again, especially at this angle, but hmm... no, not when Lalli has things to do!! This is the only adult decision Emil is willing to make vis a vis Lalli going to work.

So, face kisses it is. Once or twice his gaze flicks down to Lalli's lips, but ah... that's so advanced... face kisses, for sure.]

[Emil! Now there's a noise that's less of a puff and more of a huff, because please.]

I do.

[He does, even though all of these face kisses... are wonderfully distracting. Lalli would gladly stand here for the foreseeable future, one hand tangled in Emil's hair as he watches Emil kiss him again and again and again, but—alas! All good things must come to an end, because somewhere out there Allairavar is putting the finishing touches on tonight's patrol routes. Lalli needs to get there a bit early.

...Sad. So, so sad, but after another few seconds, Lalli pushes the heel of one hand against Emil's shoulder as he slowly, reluctantly pulls the other one free.]

Mrr. [Mrr. So much discontentment packed into such a simple noise, which is surely doubled when it's followed with a sigh. He feels all warm and lazy again, but! But.] ...Have to go.

[Which means straightening out of Emil's reach, but not before he hesitates for a moment—and leans right to the side, just to press a kiss of his own to Emil's temple. Emil kissed him like this before he left him in bed; it only seems fitting that he do the same.]

[Dang, there he goes. Lalli pulling away from him for what will be many, many hours instead of just ten minutes is the most disappointing feeling Emil has had all day, but he can be... an adult about this. A grown adult who does not sulk or whine when the object of his many affections has to go to work. Very mature.

It does take him an extra second or two to let go of Lalli and let his hands fall back to the bed, but ah, the elusive temple smooch! The smooch is his true reward for being so mature. He hums contentedly and scoots back on the bed, to curb his urge to reach for Lalli again. Adult!!]

Hmm, okay. I'll see you later.

[Will Emil make it to dawn with nothing to do? Doubtful. Good luck, Emil.]

[Does Lalli see Emil every single day? Yes. Is it still nice to be reminded that he'll see Emil again relatively soon? Yes, even though the only response Emil gets is a nod before Lalli turns to leave. The time for softness is over, as disappointing as it is; Lalli is now in... work mode! Yeah!

So away Lalli goes, doing his absolute best not to think about Emil, or kisses, or the fact that he's both wonderful and liked as he zips about the city. It's, um, surprisingly easy, actually; sniffing out webs while keeping an eye out for anything suspicious requires a great deal of focus, but by the time his shift is over and he slowly heads home... hmm. No distractions means that Emil is, like, all that Lalli is thinking about, and maybe that's the real danger of kissing—well, liking someone so very much... an ever-present want...

...It's another thing for Lalli to wonder about, especially after he slips back into their room and pads over to the bed. Ah, but Sleepymil is still so beautiful? Lalli feels his chest tighten right back up as he blinks down at his... friend, as he reaches out to lightly brush his fingertips across his... friend's cheek, but while the temptation to shake this boy awake for a second time is strong—no, no. It's better to just, you know, pull away and go change out of his work clothes, because as nothing has shifted, there's always... later. Hopefully.]

[Emil tries so, so hard to stay awake. Really, he does. But the bed is still warm, and even without Lalli right here next to him, thinking about him makes Emil feel all... soft and sappy, and ready to knock out honestly not long after Lalli leaves. It's fine! He won't be awake when Lalli comes back, but he'll be awake, uh... well before Lalli wants to get up in the morning, now that he's had a day nap and a good chunk of proper sleep.

So later is right now, or rather, not long after Lalli comes back to the room, as Emil stirs from the vague sounds of someone moving around (or: plot contrivance) and blinks up at the ceiling. Hmm, it's still mostly dark... hmm.

When he comes to his senses and realizes he's awake, he slowly turns his head... aha. Lalli has been here, and now when Lalli is ready for his sleepy adventure, Emil will be here, to stare at him for a change. Hello, it's so good to see the boy returning and not being delivered unconscious.]

Hey.

[Work clothes: off. Comfy lounging clothes: on. And that's it, honestly! That's Lalli's nightly routine, even though he's vaguely aware that he should go, like, brush his teeth again or something. He's tired...

...But as tired as he really, truly is, it's amazing how awake he suddenly feels when he hears that one little word come from behind him. Emil? ...Emil. Lalli turns, pulling his collar down past his chin as he wastes no time making his way back over to the bed. Time to be cool, time to be casual, time to say:]

Hello.

[Good... morning? Or should he say good night, because it's still entirely too early for Emil to be awake; it's why Lalli blinks down at him for a moment, confused, before he reaches out to brush down a bit of hair that's all fluffed up. This is still fine, yes... hmm...]

...You were asleep.

[No "I thought you were asleep," because Lalli checked! There's nothing weird about that at all!]

[Pick up a hairbrush... do it for Emil... or not. He'll fuss about it in the morning. The proper morning? You know, never mind! It's sleepy morning-ish time now.]

I tried to stay up, [he says, like he needs to defend his falling asleep. He tried, therefore no one can complain, in case anyone wanted to complain. How about he reaches up to take Lalli's hand and squeeze it instead of whatever he's trying to say? That's better.]

How was the, uh... running around?

[How was work, dear, and also come to bed with him, but he has to work up to that.]

[Maybe Lalli will brush his hair for him! Later. When Lalli isn't, like, constantly fighting the urge to yawn, but for now—this simple contact will have to do. Hand-holding... nice...

Anyway, how was work? Pfft. Lalli pulls a face, both because work is more than just "running around" and because he doesn't feel like going into detail about... webs, and weird people doing weird things in the middle of the night. Why can't he just mess with Emil's hair in silence for another few minutes...]

Quiet. [Okay, he can't help it! He has to turn his head to the side and yawn.] ...Long.

[But fine, really, which is why he does his best to (weakly) return that hand squeeze. He's sleepy; talking is... so hard.]

[Look, Emil doesn't know what Lalli really does out there, doing the scout thing? He has the basic idea, but add in the recent problems with webs and weirdos at night and he's lost again. It doesn't matter right this second - Lalli is tired, which makes his attempts to keep conversing cute, which gives Emil the courage he needs to ask this very bold thing he's about to ask.]

Hmm. Do you want to come here?

[Sleep here, with him... he's giving the option to roll under the bed because he's very generous! And he knows how clingy he is and how that's probably not super appealing at all times, but still. Like. Does his preference for where Lalli sleeps really need to be stated? No.]

[It's not... the most surprising question in the world. They did just spend the better part of the day curled up together, and there was some sleeping involved; it was, mmm, quite nice, and he wouldn't mind repeating it soon, but something about repeating it now gives him pause. He's tired! He's prickly! His patience—which is already thin at the best of times—is practically non-existent, so the idea of Emil doing too much, of being too much, is—

...Well. There is... a chance that being held might become overwhelming; like, there might come a time when he needs to roll away and just breathe for a bit, and yet the thought of lying beside Emil is still a welcome one. He was warm and comfortable and so, so happy earlier? And what's the difference, really, between napping and sleeping... what's the harm in seeing how this goes...]

Mmh.

[An eventual yes, then, as he lifts a knee onto the bed and gestures for Emil to roll the heck over. Give him the warm spot! If he's going to try this thing, it's only fair.]

[It's a very tense couple seconds down here on the bed, looking up at Lalli and just waiting. Emil tells himself he's definitely, for certain, not going to be bothered if Lalli says no, he'd rather sleep by himself, but boy... he can't even convince himself. Luckily, he doesn't have to! So lucky.

This is not at all how romance works, but he can scoot over to make room, sure. Come here, come here.]

I won't bother you with more questions! You should sleep.

[There will be time enough for talking later, when everyone is properly rested. Plus, honestly? He's not that, uh, interested in what weird things Lalli saw out there in the city at night. Something gross and dangerous, probably - that's enough for him.

So - this, being together again, and the simple delight in it. He's trying so hard not to be weird.]

[This is how romance works when Lalli is involved, so Emil is just going to have to deal with all of his hard work (re: hours spent occupying the same spot) being used for someone else's gain. ...Lalli's gain, specifically, and boy, is he pleased. It's too warm outside for him to be cold, but running around at night can occasionally be a chilly thing; it's why he can't help but to sigh as he pulls the covers up and around him, tucking his chin into them as he closes his eyes. It even smells like Emil... that's nice...

But the real Emil is still, you know, right there, which is why Lalli cracks his eyes open just enough to look back at him. He should indeed sleep; he will sleep, but not before he pulls a hand free of the blanket and reaches out to, like, lightly touch Emil's cheek, almost like he's making sure that Emil is really, truly here. Plus, well—there's still a bit of space between them, you see. He has to make sure Emil isn't too far.]

[He's trying even harder not to be weird... but when Lalli reaches for him, Emil takes that as the go-ahead to reach for him and smooth his hair back from his face. This mop definitely needs a brush, which also can wait until morning. He's likely to fall asleep a third time soon enough, but he has enough in him right now to pet Lalli's hair until he falls asleep.

It's only fair.]

Good night, Lalli.

[It's true! This is what Lalli deserves, which is why even his sleepy self looks decidedly pleased with this current level of attention. Messing with his hair is, without a doubt, juuuust fine. It even earns Emil a soft little cheek pat as Lalli feels sleep creeping right up on him, because even though Lalli wouldn't mind staying awake for a few more minutes... even though it would be nice to be kissed again, just to know that kissing is still a Thing that can and will happen...]

'Night...

[And that's, like, all Lalli has to offer as he slips his hand down to rest between them? Close enough to Emil for Lalli to feel his warmth as he drifts right off. He'll evaluate this in the morning, of course, but for now—well! Good night, indeed!]

[Heck... yeah, sleep time. Emil doesn't make it much longer, as promised, but luckily he doesn't fall asleep with his hand flopped uselessly on Lalli's face. It's been a good day and now it's been a good night, as a bonus, and yes - he will indeed wake up earlier than Lalli, since he got about five times the sleep Lalli did...

So! Now that it's morning, proper morning, and he's avoiding going to Obligatory Training for as long as possible as usual, it's his turn to watch Lalli until he wakes up. This is... a good boy! A fine boy, who makes Emil very happy, and hopefully will continue to make him happy specifically through kisses, later on—

Hmm, yes. But Emil can't stare for as long as Lalli can, so eventually he will wiggle out of bed very carefully, from the other end, so as not to wake him up, and head off to brush his teeth and make sure he looks very pretty for the training he doesn't want to go to. Superb. Then he will return to the bed and lean over Lalli, considering... Yes, he will kiss him on the cheek to wake him up. Hey! Wake up and pay attention to him!]

[And Lalli is tired enough to sleep through absolutely everything, The End. Or: Lalli is indeed dead tired, but while he misses out on all of that early morning staring (sad), the feeling of something lightly brushing against his cheek is—hmm. It's not enough to fully wake him; it is, however, enough to kick-start the process, which is why his face twitches ever so slightly before he tucks his chin closer to his chest. It's surely too early to be messed with, so please, Emil—

...Oh. Emil. As sluggish as... everything about him is at this point in time, that name—and all the thoughts it sparks—pushes him to eventually, slowly crack open his eyes. Emil should be right there in front of him? Emil was right there in front of him, back when he fell asleep, but all Lalli sees now is... an empty spot. ...Well.

Lalli's hands are still, like, curled in the space that was between himself and Emil; it takes no effort to move one over to that empty space, fingers feeling for warmth even as his barely conscious self realizes that there's, you know, someone behind him. It takes a surprising amount of effort to turn his head and, like, blearily blink up at them, but it's definitely the person who should be here, in bed, right where his hand is...]

...Emil?

[Why is the boy THERE and not HERE! ...But hey, this is almost like his old dream? And the dream-that-was-not-a-dream? Emil hovering over him isn't a bad thing to wake up to at all, even if Lalli still feels all gross and slow. No talking; only sleepy staring, because hey, maybe he's dreaming again.]

[Sometimes a boy just has to go to the bathroom, damn, Lalli. Emil is still hovering over him while he does this sleepy thing, waiting... waiting... aha. All it takes is Lalli finally looking up at him for him to beam right back, definitely too awake for this hour even for him - but such is the consequence of sleeping as much as he did yesterday.]

Hey! It's morning.

[Like, no shit, but that's also his feeble excuse for why he's up and about and waking people up to enjoy this morning with him. He reaches down to sort of nudge Lalli's hip with the back of his hand to get him to scoot over but sits down anyway, squeezing himself onto what available edge of the bed there is so he can still loom over him... but comfortably! Genius. Hi.]

I probably can't get away with skipping that horrible training again, but I wanted to see you first.

[Awake, specifically. And he'll certainly be in trouble for the training he's already consciously skipped more than once, but that's Emil-in-an-hour's problem, not his right now. Now is looking at Lalli and reaching over him to hold his wandering hand. Hello, he's over here, love him. This... is the true clingy Emil experience (tm).]

i make another inbox post

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a gay novel

god bless

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this thread can't die until furry time

congrats, you earned this: https://i.imgur.com/nVDUZ4B.jpg

i'll take it

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overdo... overdue... i can't believe you didn't roast me for that

would you believe....i didn't notice

shocking

i know, i've been slacking

the monday mood

the monday mood is saying monday mood on tuesday bc what a monday mood

the monday mood (tm) lasts until 5pm on friday tbh

you're so right. the monday mood is minna giving us info pages

the truest monday mood is you reminding me of this sad fact! ugh

the monday mood is kissing tags at 8am

and now we are finally free of the monday mood... anyway, let's wrap this