illequipped | i make another inbox post

[A good comment isn't enough, not when Lalli wants to be as accurate as possible! Partly because Emil is kissing him again and he'd like that to continue, thanks, but mostly because Emil is... vain?? He obviously cares about his appearance; he's obviously aware that he's very good-looking, and it's important to him, sooooo.

Well, that makes it important to Lalli, too? In a different way, perhaps, but as weird as words can be, he's determined to get this one thing right.]

Mm. [Ah.] Then you are the... prettiest.

[It's not wrong, but. Hmm. Lalli lapses into a thoughtful silence, giving the hand on his cheek a quick pat—stay—before he slips his arm underneath Emil's. He's spent plenty of time thinking about that very nice face; like, he knows that he likes it, and why he likes it, but it's another one of those things that's just so, so complicated to actually express. Emil is more than pretty, even if that's the word Emil wants to use; Emil is... well, how to put this... can he just say the thing he always thinks...]

...You're bright. When you smile? But even when you don't, you— [HMM, take two, all while he reaches up to tap his fingertips against Emil's jawline. This common language they, um, know is right there, and yet there's still something easier about slipping back into Finnish to murmur:] ...You are beautiful. Always.

[Or: Sä oot kaunis. Aina. Soft, barely audible gibberish that makes him want to, like, press his face against something and wait for it to cool down, but he doesn't want to move away just for that. Anyway, that's the strongest adjective he's heard other people use, and while he's never used it before... it feels fitting?]

[Emil is vain, and he knows precisely how pretty he is these days, but he still likes to hear Lalli say it. Lalli doesn't ever talk about these things; Emil is certain he's heard him dismiss most things he sees period as "gross" or "weird," so it's that plus his own soft feelings that make it very exciting when Lalli tells him he's pretty. The prettiest. Yes, he is, thank you so much for noticing...

He still has that fond little smile on his face, maybe a touch smug now that he's The Prettiest, but he raises an eyebrow curiously as Lalli fidgets around. Oh, there's more— multiple compliments... truly, this boy spoils him.]

Oh, [he says, when Lalli's incredibly mushy, half-gibberish words catch him right in the chest. Bright, again, like that time with the rock that looks like him, and it looks like he was wrong from the start— bright is much better than prettiest. Not that he never wants to be told how incredibly good-looking he is, but each time he's gotten this sliver of the exact way Lalli sees him, it's made him all but dissolve into a puddle of emotions.

That said, he does have to guess on the rest, but the way Lalli says it and how warm his face is under Emil's hand are, hmm, telling. Now he leans their heads together, as he contemplates just being close to each other. New idea: never ever getting out of bed.

...Ah, but he should say more than "oh," he realizes as he traces Lalli's cheekbone with his thumb again. Boy!!]

Are you going to tell me what that means? [Or, even better idea he just had:] How do I say "I like you very much" in Finnish?

[Of course he's not going to tell Emil what that means! Not... today, anyway. Maybe he'll explain it the next time he has a reason to repeat it, but for now—whew. Even if Emil didn't understand a word, it was still a hefty thing for Lalli to say; he needs a moment to, mmm, recover, even if Emil decides that he'd much rather bring them even closer together. Aha...

...Aha. On the one hand, it's harder to see Emil's smile, and that's sad; on the other hand, though, Emil's eyes are right there, and Lalli can easily admire that pretty—no, that beautiful shade of blue as his hand slides down and around to the back of Emil's neck. Beautiful eyes, beautiful boy! Lalli likes Emil so much that it almost hurts, but not in a bad way; his chest just feels so tight, and his heart just feels so full, and as his fingers loosely curl into the hair at the nape of Emil's neck, he knows that it's all because he's... happy. With everything.

And that's, you know, a new thing for him, but for once he's trying not to think about the many, many things that could go wrong. This is nice? He likes this? Even if Emil asking about this Finnish phrase he's never going to remember is, um, somehow both funny (because Emil will never remember it) and dangerous (because what if he does??). ...Huh. A quiet hum, then, as Lalli considers this before he s l o w l y says:]

Mä tykkään susta.

[Did he leave out the "very much" just to make this simpler? Maybe so. That's Lalli being thoughtful for once, even as he watches and waits for Emil to, like, completely butcher those three words. Let's hear it, Swede...]

[Yeah, there's no way he's going to remember this. He knows this a second after he says it, but it seems like an appropriately affectionate thing to ask in the moment before Lalli confirms just how badly Emil's going to destroy these Finnish gibberish sounds.

Something does sound a little short about it, but Emil can only trust that Lalli isn't secretly teaching him to say, like, "Lalli is great at chess" or something. Surely, the language pranks will come later.]

Hmm, okay. [He clears his throat and everything before he fumbles over this simple sentence. Here goes.]

Mä, uh, tycken- [Nope, that's wrong and he knows it, but it's ironically too close to the Swedish word for him to get the pronunciation on point. Woops!! Now he flounders because he forgot the third word already.] sssss....

[Help him or he'll just hiss like a fool until he has to take a breath.]

[Lalli knew that it was going to be bad? Like, he thought that he was adequately prepared, but—ah, this boy. He's so... Swedish, and Lalli can't help but to pull a face as he listens to the, um, awkward syllables. Finnish should flow, but Emil's attempt is so, mmm... choppy...

...Okay! Take two, then, even as Lalli's fingers twitch impatiently in Emil's hair and he, like, looks off to the side for a second. Aha.]

Mmn. Tykkään. [A harder start, a softer finish, a different vowel entirely? Gosh. Lalli pauses, hopefully allowing that to sink in, before he repeats the phrase just as slowly as he did the first time.] Mä tykkään susta.

[Of course he stresses that last word, because of course he knows that Emil has totally forgotten it. Two syllables! Amazing! And yet he still likes this boy very, very much, because this boy is... trying. Like always. His dumb... friend.]

Again.

[How many shots will Emil get at this? Not many, honestly. It's not as if patience (with people) is Lalli's strong suit, sooooo... good luck!]

[He can't help it if his native tongue is a better language than Finnish all around, sorry buddy. Lalli's reaction is, hmm, not inspiring, but he will get this thing right!! This one, for sure! Being able to talk to Lalli when they inevitably get out of here- because they will, for sure- is much more important than, say, magic spells.

So!! Okay, second attempt!! He hums, considering the phrase. Yes, it still sounds like gibberish, mostly...]

Tyyykkään. Right. Then susta. I'll remember!

[This time, he will, for sure. Let him hastily slap this phrase together, before he does drop another handful of letters in the middle-]

Mä, uh, tykkään susta.

[His Finnish still leaves a lot to be desired. Like a whole lot, choppy and awkward as it is, but he's got a basic grasp of the phrase after breaking it into toddler-sized parts for his toddler's grasp of language acquisition. Phew.

Anyway, he wants to remember this one better than all the other Finnish he's barely retained, so he glances away from Lalli's face to, like, his shoulder, mumbling the words a few more times. A tykkään here, a susta there... The things he does for this boy.

Feel free to praise him at any time.]

["I'll remember," Emil says, and Lalli only blinks, half-expecting him to, like, lose everything by the third syllable, but... oh? Well. His pronunciation is still, um, far from perfect, and yet it doesn't bother Lalli too badly; after all, that's a thing that practice will surely solve. Emil will just have to say this... often! Very often!

Or that's the hope, anyway. A thing he silently considers as he tilts his head back the slightest bit. Emil's forehead is... too far away; like, Lalli is far too comfortable to even consider shifting upward, so a quick kiss to the tip of Emil's nose will have to do. Surely that's fine? There's something almost... silly about it, if he gives it any thought at all, but the it a) is convenient for his lazy self and b) isn't too close to Emil's lips. He's treading a line here, and even though that line is getting thinner with every passing second...]

...Better. [That's high Lalli praise? Accept it and this second smooch.] Mä tykkään susta.

[A quickly, easily spoken reminder that he likes Emil, too, just in case that wasn't perfectly obvious, before he leans his forehead against Emil's once more. This isn't so bad, he supposes. He can feel Emil breathe, and that's certainly a Thing to focus on, but it isn't... bad.]

In Swedish?

[Fair's fair.]

[Hmm! A kiss on the nose - two, even - is very cute, actually. And yes, it's a touch silly, but Emil doesn't care about something as small as that when it's a kiss and Lalli keeps telling him he likes him. Truly, this is the only Finnish he needs to know, ever...

Lalli asking for the Swedish is honestly a surprise, since he's complained Swedish is terrible before, but aha! At last, Lalli comes around to the superior language. Emil is only the slightest bit smug about this. Just a hint.]

Jag tycker om dig... väldigt mycket.

[Which, because this is Emil, is not cut for ease of understanding, save for the convenient pause. Lalli wanted "I like you very much," and that's what he gets. Love him and his Swedish.]

Try it!

[Now, here's the thing: Lalli wanted hear hear that bit of Swedish, just because his greedy little self wants Emil to say "I like you" as many times—as many ways—as possible, but did he say that he would repeat it? Of course not. Swedish... sounds weird; this Swedish phrase is no exception, and Lalli wrinkles his nose when Emil tells him to try. Aha? Aha...

...Well, enjoy this rare noise of amusement as he, like, frees his fingers from all of that hair in order to gently pat the back of Emil's neck.]

It's shorter in Finnish? Better.

[But he supposes that gross Swedish might just be a nice thing to hear, in this particular context! To hear. Saying, it, however, seems—whew. He's just going to close his eyes instead, a content hum escaping him as that pat turns into more of an absentminded pet.]

...Say it this way, too.

[In... whatever language this actually is. He's copping out and he doesn't feel bad about it, because he's terrible.]

[Wow? Wow! This boy! Emil is sorely disappointed, a little seriously— why doesn't he get to hear bumbling, choppy language attempts, too... This is discrimination.

It does take him a moment to realize Lalli just isn't going to say it, though, and he... pouts like a child when he does. Aw! Lalli!!]

I think it sounds wonderful in Swedish.

[Coward. Petting him is, hmm - different? But soft and relaxing, so he'll allow it. Maybe he shouldn't say anything nice at all until Lalli says a sentence in Swedish; that'll learn him. ...But, ah, he's too much of a sap to stick to his own guns almost immediately, so.]

Hmm. [Maybe! But first, more Swedish:] You are very difficult and I think you're wonderful anyway.

[Or, a long line of Swedish—Du är väldigt svår och jag tycker du är underbar ändå—that he will not be explaining, so now they're even. Punk. Now he's satisfied, and it's his turn to smugly give Lalli a pat on the cheek. So there!]

I like you a lot.

Edited (dang it) 2019-05-12 02:26 (UTC)

[Maybe one day Emil will realize that giving Lalli exactly what he wants means that Lalli has, like, no reason to do anything differently? Maybe one day Emil will realize that the promise of a kiss, a compliment, or—heaven forbid—both will encourage Lalli to do wild things like, say, learn important Swedish phrases, but that day... is clearly not today.

Anyway, who needs Swedish when they have this language! For the, uh, time being, anyway, but that's a fact he wills himself not to think about as he cracks his eyes back open. That Swedish sounded so... well, it didn't sound great, and he doesn't like that he doesn't know everything that Emil said, and yet Emil's voice is still Emil's voice. It's a nice voice! The best voice! Just, mmm, doubly so when Emil uses it to say things Lalli actually understands. A lot, huh... he hums again...]

I like that way best? I think. [He likes them ALL, really, but.] It's... good to know what you're saying.

[So don't give him more Swedish! Or, well—maybe he's thinking about that last line, just a bit, but he's also thinking about the expedition? All those frustrating moments when he didn't know what in the world this boy was trying to say...

Actually, you know what? He can't just let that Mystery Sentence go, especially now that they CAN understand one another. He has to bring his hand back around to Emil's cheek, has to open his eyes a bit more in order to study Emil's very nice face.]

...What did you say before?

[He heard, like, jag tycker... Tell Him!!!!!]

[Hmm, more requests from this demanding, difficult boy. Maybe he shouldn't explain anything at all! He pats Lalli's cheek again, looking very content - like maybe it's time to take a little morning nap, and not translate any Swedish...

...But Lalli earnestly telling him he likes knowing what he's saying is sweet, and he does feel the same way... It's been so nice, being able to understand each other here. But the boy. Such an impasse.]

If you want to know, you'll have to tell me how much you like me.

[A steep price... He'll let Lalli choose the language, because he's merciful.]

[Sure, Lalli said this very thing (in Finnish!) a few short minutes ago, and yet saying it now seems so... well, they were both being soft the last time he said this, you know! Now one of them is acting reeeeeally smug, and something about that makes Lalli feel both annoyed and, ah... not embarrassed, per se, but somewhat self-conscious? Self-aware? It's just easier, somehow, to say soft things when Emil is smiling and leaning in and touching his cheek in that very gentle way...

Now, though? Mmph. He leaves his hand right there on Emil's cheek, lightly drumming his fingers against it as he looks off to the side.]

I—hn.

[It's not like he's had much time to practice this! A sigh, then, as he considers whether or not he should repeat it in Finnish. It would be easier? It would be better for him, but... ugh. What if Emil said something incredibly nice... he needs to know...]

...I like you. A lot. [His cheeks are heating up again. A stupid thing, considering how many times he's kissed Emil this morning, but it's still a thing that's happening—and that's he's very aware of as he finally chances a glance back Emil's way. Oof, what a mistake.] V-Very much.

[Is that ENOUGH? Can he, like, run off to work now? Goodbye.]

[Well, this was another great idea by Emil, thanks for indulging him!! The whole package - the words, the blushing, that tiny fumble at the end - oof! A critical hit right to his heart. He could be more smug about this if Lalli were talking about anything else besides liking him a-lot-very-much, so small mercies: he leans in to be soft again, sliding his hand back from Lalli's face to press a kiss to his cheek instead. It is... an automatic response to precious Lalli things(tm).

So! Yeah, that's good. That's great, even. Lalli isn't going anywhere, thanks much. Emil almost feels silly about how easily a few words can knock him right back down to that warm, sappy mood he's been in since, like, breakfast - but only almost. It's a very sappy day and he's not going to complain about getting what he wants! ...The second time.

But he did give this ultimatum himself, so, alright.]

Thank you. I was only saying how wonderful you are, even when you won't play along.

[Lead with the good part... brilliant strategy. He could lie through his teeth right now, but he called Lalli difficult like three times this morning in the language he can understand and still got kissed, so it should be fine.]

[So maybe this is the day Emil learns that he can now easily motivate Lalli to do... almost anything. Good? Bad? More of the former than the latter, surely, but please cut Lalli's small, gay heart some slack; as difficult as he is—as stubborn as he is—he's weak to this one (1) boy who consistently treats him so much better than anyone has ever really treated him before. Weird!

In a great way, though. The best way. Like, his face is still warm; he still kind-of-sort-of wants to (gently) push Emil's face down into the pillow, just to give himself a brief break from that look, but when Emil kisses his cheek again... hmm. When Emil tells him he's wonderful... hmm. Oh, he knows what that whole not-playing-along thing is about, but...]

Hrmh. [Lalli noises. They come standard.] ...Swedish is weird? And too long. This is better.

[Anyway, if he's wonderful, surely it wasn't a big deal at all! That's what he's going with as he slides his hand back into Emil's hair and tries to, like, pull him back down toward his cheek. He's wonderful! He deserves this! And he's also, mmm, very red, but Emil can't see that if he's busy kissing him two or three more times. It's a perfect strategy.]

[Aha, he has so much power now... too bad he, too, is a terminally gay baby, and at most he'll want to motivate Lalli to, like, kiss him a lot. Lofty goals. Maybe he'll motivate Lalli to sleep in the bed overnight! Now that's daring!

Until then: more kisses. He scoffs, but it's not serious; he knows in his heart that Swedish is the superior language, so it's fine if Lalli wants to, hmm, lie to himself. This is romance.]

It's not weird, but you do have a point.

[About the other thing, that is. He slides his hand to the back of Lalli's neck with a sort of... giddy finger wiggle, to put his excess dopey energy somewhere as he leans in to kiss his cheek again. One cheek kiss, then another, inching down towards his jawline... this was very exciting when Lalli did it to him earlier, so what if he tried it... Let him know!!]

[Oh, Swedish is definitely weird. That, uh, finger wiggle is weird, too, albeit in a decidedly different way; like, the back of his neck is just one of those places no one has ever really touched before—on purpose, anyway—but even though he automatically tenses... it's fine? It's fine. There are other things to focus on, like the way Emil's hair is brushing against him, and the kisses(!) dipping... lower...

Well! There's a sharp inhale of surprise, but after a split-second of consideration—hmm, hmm, hmm. Lalli lifts his chin the slightest bit, allowing for easier access as he wills himself to relax. Being kissed has been great so far, so... continue! Yeah! He'll just keep his hand curled in Emil's hair as he waits.]

[Two things Emil realizes at once, when Lalli not only doesn't push his face away, but even moves to encourage him: first, oh, they're... certainly doing this! He can't even count how many lines this is crossing and re-crossing, but if he wants to do this, and Lalli wants him to do this, then - it should be alright? It feels alright. Second, he's not sure he mentally prepared for Lalli to actually let him do this, so oh boy, here's hoping he doesn't vaporize on the spot.

So, alright, here he goes. He brushes his fingers against the back of Lalli's neck more gently, a comforting gesture, pressing a kiss to the same spot he did a moment ago. That's one, then two, along his jaw, and three, further down, towards his neck... Emil's face is all but literally burning with each new kiss, so it's a blessing that he doesn't have to look Lalli in the eye while doing this. That would really be the end of him...

But now he's stuck, from nerves and wondering just how far he really should push this thing, so he pauses before tucking his face against Lalli's shoulder. Hello, don't look at him, he's dying.]

...W-well, what do you think of that? [...he says, to Lalli's collarbone, so smoothly.]

[It's obvious where those kisses are leading? Emil can only go so far down before he hits something entirely new, and Lalli knows this, but it's still somewhat of a shock to feel those lips come closer and closer to his neck. That is... such a vulnerable spot! Emil nearing it is, ah, exciting and worrying, all at once, and Lalli's fingers instinctively tighten in all of that hair as he works out what, exactly, he should do. Keep Emil close, pull Emil away... honestly, he wants to do both...

And that, of course, is stupid, which is why it's a good thing that Emil pulls away of his own accord... even if he does wind up sticking, um, very close indeed. Aha. It's strange to feel Emil talking; plus there's also a part of him that knows Emil can probably-definitely feel his heart racing, if that dumb boy is paying any attention at all, but! Well! As terrible as Lalli is at picking up on these things, Emil clearly sounds just as flustered as he feels, and you know, that's... something. Maybe.

...Maybe. Lalli releases the breath he wasn't even aware he was holding, flexing his hand a bit—loosening his grip—as he considers that (awkward) question.]

It— [No, no. Hold on.] ...I liked it.

[He did, he realizes as he says this. He really, really did. ...Huh. Lalli turns that over in his mind, a soft hum escaping him before he begins slowly carding his fingers through Emil's hair. Why did he like it, though, when it was soooo... nerve-racking? Well, that's simple enough—]

It was good, because you're you. [This makes perfect sense to him! Emil is Special; no one else is allowed so close to his throat, so. Hmm.] But it will be... better? Next time.

[Not necessarily now? Like, his heart is still pounding away, and he's still running his fingers through Emil's hair, so he is... clearly content to stay like this for a while longer. But there will have to be a Next Time, and boy, isn't that thrilling.]

[Hmm, for personal reasons, Emil has decided to stay right where he is. He will absolutely lose it if he sees Lalli's face right now, for one, and it's very comfortable to be pressed so close to him like this, once he gets over the initial panic of kissing him in a new and different place. He likes Lalli's fingers in his hair, how warm he is, how his skin still smells like soap with a hint of just Lalli underneath—

Ah, but thinking about how his very favorite boy smells is, hmm, a lot? Almost too much, all of a sudden, so Emil focuses on shifting his arm under Lalli's and around his middle, since he's not planning on moving from this spot despite how much his heart is going double time. Whew.

Just hold him and touch his hair and say more things like next time, that's very good. Emil hums, happy beyond belief over how well this is working out. He can and will get used to this.]

Next time, [he repeats it, one part confirmation and one part wonder. A whole next time to kiss Lalli in all the soft, intimate spots his gay little heart can handle; the thought alone is more than enough. You bet he's going to count down the minutes until Next Time.]

You're good because you're you. [Hmm... no, that sounds ridiculous, but he's already said it. Whatever! The sentiment is there: Lalli is the best person in his life, which is both great and overwhelming to think about. He'll just have to stay right here, to consider it more and really appreciate the feeling of fingers in his hair... great idea!!]

Hmm. You should keep doing that.

[Ah, so they are going to stay like this. It's... somewhat of a relief, truth be told, just because so many things have happened in such a short amount of time; even this is new, but there's something, mmm, comfortable about lying together like this? Or there will be, once his heart settles back into a steady rhythm, because this certainly isn't as confusing as, say, Emil kissing his way down to Lalli's neck. This is... manageable.

Plus hearing Emil tell him that he's, you know, good helps quite a bit. It doesn't even matter that Emil is more or less parroting his words back to him; it's still a compliment, a very sweet thing to say, and Lalli feels the corners of his lips twitch upwards once more. Emil thinks he's wonderful, Emil thinks he's good, Emil likes him for him and there will be more of this...

...Maybe one day those won't be such overwhelming things to think about? Maybe one day he'll be able to think about them without feeling, like, a surge of surprise, but for now—whew! His cheeks are going to remain uncomfortably warm for quite some time, it seems, and yet that doesn't prevent him from quietly, contentedly sighing. At least Emil can't see him. At least he's free to feel weak and soft in peace. Small blessings.]

Mhm. [He will do this thing, will complete this arduous task, but:] ...You'll fall asleep.

[Not that a nap would be a bad thing, really, which is why he continues combing through Emil's hair. It's been... a morning!]

[They sure are going to stay like this for a while yet. They both need the break, as it were, from the heart-pounding tasks of looking at each other and occasionally kissing. And really, Emil simply wants this to last as long as it can - after the way Lalli was returned to him, hmm, comatose, and with his next night shift looming in the near future... damn! Sometimes, you just have to cuddle up to a boy and stay there until other obligations come knocking.

So that's the plan. Stay here with his boy, maybe take a nap, maybe only get up later for a meal... a perfect day!]

Then I'll be awake when you come back from work. [...Well, maybe. One daytime nap does not guarantee Emil's ability to stay up all night, but he can try. He's feeling soft enough to try, just because.

Either way, it already feels inevitable that the comfort and warmth of all of this puts him right to sleep; he lets his eyes shut in advance, but he's not out yet.]

Or you can wake me before you go.

[Because, oh, there will be a see-you-later kiss, he's already thinking about it.]

[What would be better: coming back to the room to find Emil awake and ready to pet his hair until he falls asleep, or coming back to the room and curling up next to a warm, still-sleeping Emil? Not that he's, um, brave enough—comfortable enough—to do that particular thing at this stage in the game, but it's still a (surprisingly nice) thought that briefly crosses his mind. What if! What if, one day...

...Well. Better to focus on the here and the now, hence:]

Pfh. [A soft, soft noise, because he knows Emil won't last until just before dawn—and it's fine. Honest. Emil being awake would only tempt Lalli to stay up later (earlier??) than he absolutely should, so. So.] I can wake you.

[If that's what Emil wants, which? Why? Is he that worried that Lalli is going to knock himself out again, or does he... genuinely want to see Lalli before he zips away for the night? Lalli's still riding that "Emil likes me" high; he's allowing himself to hope that it's the latter, which is why he resists the urge to press the issue. It's safer to just, you know, focus on the way Emil's hair feels as it slips through his fingers, all while he listens and waits for Emil to say something—or for Emil's breathing to slowly even out. Sleepymil...

But even when Emil is, without a doubt, out, Lalli doesn't immediately follow him. He is... a weird boy. He wants to do weird things, like lean back to study Emil's sleeping face! Like lightly press a finger to as many places he's kissed as he can, just to remind himself that he did, before he leans back in to barely nuzzle into Emil's hair. He can't help it, really—he's weak to this dumb boy and his dumb hair and his dumb everything, and he's too, mmm, excited to sleep? Too happy, and that's a rare thing for him; he doesn't want it to end.

So how much rest did Lalli actually get? Don't ask. Don't even worry about it. What matters is that he's still right there with Emil when the light in the room begins to fade, and he's awake enough to know that it's time for him to... start moving. There's no need to rush, but he needs time to change, to hit up the bathroom, to grab a quick something to eat before his shift, to... wake Emil up...

Hmm. He carefully stretches; he briefly considers, like, not doing this, and yet he wriggles down anyway, putting himself eye-level with Emil and... shamelessly watching him sleep for a few extra seconds. He kissed this face. He can touch this face, which is what he eventually does. Just one hand, softly cupping Emil's cheek before he gives it the briefest of shakes.]

...Emil.

[Good! Morning! Hopefully Emil enjoys Lalli, like, blinking back at him right out the gate.]

[With the guarantee that Lalli will wake him later, Emil has the go-ahead to doze right off where he is. He's not especially tired - certainly not exhausted by any means - but this is comfortable, warm and safe and very much away from the rest of the stressful things about this city, so who can blame him! He deserves this nap.

And it's a good nap, with Emil deep enough asleep that Lalli doing his weird Lalli things doesn't wake him. He wouldn't be, hmm, surprised to wake up and find Lalli poking all over his face; Lalli stares at him all the time, so really, the bar has been set. The weirdness level is insurmountable.

So, naturally, when he does stir and open one eye to find Lalli staring at him as usual, he still isn't surprised. It takes him a few seconds to really wake up, feeling heavy and warm and not really wanting to move from his comfortable spot. But ah— Lalli has to go out and do his thing... yes, he remembers. And Lalli did wake him after all! That makes him smile, even as he fits his fingers between Lalli's and moves his hand away from his face - so he can smush his face into the pillow with a vague grumble about being awake. Just wait a second, this is how he wakes up.

Then he pushes himself up on his elbow, humming. He's here, he's up, hello, lovely boy. Waking up is the worst, but, hmm, waking up and seeing Lalli still here with him? Worth it.]

Are you going now?

[A sleepy smile, just for him... oh. Even if Emil falls right back asleep—which Lalli, like, half expects him to do when he dives face-first into that pillow—this brief moment together is suddenly very nice.

Emil actually sitting up, though, is... better. It's not like Lalli is going to be gone for a terribly long time, and yet he still takes this opportunity to tilt his head back and continue staring up at this familiar face. It was... a good morning! It was a good day, but—hmm. In between all of the kisses and soft words, something between them... changed? Moved from the back of the mind to the very forefront? And what if—seriously, what if—all it takes is one of them leaving this room for everything to go back...

Well, it's stupid! He's stupid! But it's not as if many good things in his life have, you know, managed to actually stick, which is why he lightly squeezes Emil's hand as his eyes flick back over in the direction of the window.]

...Soon.

[He has... some time. He can enjoy this for a few minutes longer, even if he doesn't know what to say.]

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a gay novel

god bless

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