illequipped: (133)
emil västerström ([personal profile] illequipped) wrote2019-04-28 08:30 pm

i make another inbox post


now it's for a gentle night
ilves: (23)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[Why didn't that work? That totally should have worked, but... alas. It's not like Lalli has any other great ideas up his sleeve, aside from, like, giving Emil a good shake, or slipping out from under this arm and wandering about the room.

...He's restless, but he's not that restless. Not yet, anyway. Still, he continues watching Emil for another few seconds before he expresses his frustration the best way he knows how:
]

Psh.

[There! Take that as he crosses his arms and also settles back against the wall, because what else is he supposed to do! Dumb boy... Lalli will just be Here, trying to count down the remaining seconds because he's seriously that petty.]
ilves: (109)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Sitting and staring at the opposite wall... is not Lalli's idea of a good time, which is why he slowly slides lower and lower, chin sinking into his chest as he acts like a petulant child who's been told to just sit there and wait patiently. He doesn't want to? He wants to... continue the lesson, or listen to Emil talk, or something. This is torturous...

But Emil seems comfortable? Weirdly so. Lalli shifts around a bit when he believes the correct amount of seconds have passed, trying to see if Emil really has fallen asleep before he gently nudges Emil's side. Hello? You're awake, right? Maybe Lalli is terrible at math, and maybe he let a few more seconds pass by than he really should have, but don't leave him alone like this???
]
ilves: (110)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Too bad Emil couldn't ignore Lalli for another minute! Too bad! But this is fine... in that it's, you know, not fine at all, because of all the ways Lalli expected Emil to react? This is definitely a surprise, which is the only reason he doesn't even try to fight back when he's yanked so close. Goodbye, admittedly tiny space between them; hello, sudden jolt of confusion. Um?

...Um????

Well, give him a second here! He has to kind of twist a bit to blink up at Emil with wide eyes, but that's hard enough as it is; pulling away is clearly going to take some effort, so until he can, like, free an arm and push Emil away, he... is stuck. Right against Emil's side. Which is warm. Soft? ...Hmm.
]

Ah— [The question! Yes! Why was it such a big deal, aside from his own weird restlessness.] You... would have fallen asleep?

[Not entirely true, but good enough when his brain is currently rebooting.]
ilves: (239)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
[It's a hard expression to parse, given that Lalli is feeling so many things at one time? He's just a jumble of... something. Many somethings, really, but it's not a terribly uncomfortable existence until Emil up and looks away from him.

...Ah. Well. Now a clear sense of discomfort creeps across that mental link, because maybe he... should have pulled away well before this. Maybe that's what was expected, even though Emil's grip on him is as tight as ever.
]

...Nnnno. [Obviously NOT, but—mmph. He gingerly shifts his weight to the side, trying to judge how much space he can put back between them at this point in time. Answer: not much.] You can sleep. If you want to.

[He just thought that Emil wanted to give it a few more tries, at least, but he'll... leave? That seems like an okay idea.]
ilves: (117)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh? Well... good, Lalli supposes. It's not like he really wanted to leave, a thing that strikes him when that arm slides away and he's able to finally straighten back up. He likes spending time with Emil, even when that involves frustrating magic lessons? He likes when Emil pays attention to him instead of dozing the fuck off? He likes when Emil holds his hand like this, even though having an arm around him for such a long period of time wasn't... the worst thing...

...But hand-holding is a much easier thing to understand, so he's... fine with this. Fine with curling his fingers around Emil's as he shifts his thoughts away from Touching and toward, um, actual magic. Shields! Aha.
]

Mmh.

[He can indeed do that, after he glances down at their hands one last time. Okay! Magic! Time to do exactly what he did last time and kind of... pull Emil's mind toward his, which once again allows Emil to clearly hear all of his surface-level thoughts. Which... involve more concern regarding whether or not Emil is actually paying attention, but at least there's no hair commentary this time; there's just, like, a vague relief that things are fine, a general happiness that Emil didn't fall asleep and/or leave, plus the occasional thought regarding The Hug that's best described as... "???" Good/weird/comfortable/Too Much/possibly enjoyable/confusing, all rolled into one incomprehensible mess.

So just... focus on the steps of this spell, Emil. Lalli goes through them just as slowly this time as he did last time, but pretty soon—ah, there it is. Total mental silence. ...Which is still strange, even the second time around; it's why Lalli gives Emil's hand an unconscious little squeeze, just like he's making sure it's there.
]
ilves: in three (163)

it was an onslaught and my phone was not prepared

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-10 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
["Don't get mad," Emil says, and Lalli fully expects him to ask for another ten minute break, or a nap, or a something; maybe it's a good thing, then, that their mental link is temporarily blocked, because it saves Emil from feeling Lalli's... confused frustration bubble back up as he waits for his friend to just spit it out. There's no one Lalli enjoys being around more than Emil, but ooh, this boy...

...This boy isn't asking for anything at all. Ah. This boy is, in fact, giving voice to thoughts that are so similar to Lalli's own that he's momentarily taken aback, because isn't that how he would put this? That he's used to feeling like Emil is there on a deeper level? Or, well—it's more than that, really. One can get used to anything without necessarily liking it; Lalli, however, likes this mental link of theirs... very, very much. There's something comforting about it, about feeling those brief flashes of Emil™ that pop into his mind randomly throughout the day. It's a reminder that, no matter where Emil actually is, he's still here.

And there's another thing at play here, too: the distant knowledge that Emil is the only person Lalli would enjoy, mmm, linking up with like this. Even a connection with Onni would feel odd—oppressive?—instead of comfortable, but Emil is... special. In all things, really. In all ways.
]

I know. [Or, more accurately: he understands.] It's... quiet here, and I thought it was good? It is good, but...

[Mmph. Emil needs to focus on his shield-making, Lalli knows, and yet as he twists his hand about, working on weaving his fingers through Emil's—]

Not when it's you.

[But okay, okay! That felt like... a lot for them to say, for whatever reason, so when their hands are just how he wants them to be he'll once again focus on magic. Try to focus on magic? Whatever! Just know that he'll poke that shield when it's up!]