illequipped | i make another inbox post

[Oh, now it was stupid!! Shut up, Lalli!!! Emil rolls his eyes, over here on his end of the bed, but he is the bigger person here and he will not descend into petty sniping like some little babies in the room.

You know, out loud. He won't descend into petty sniping out loud. That doesn't stop him from being sick of Lalli's dumb issue with his hair, though, which he does have a perfect solution for: just taking his damn hair out of the ponytail already. It's not gross and warm here in their room, so he tugs the elastic out of his hair and... shoots it lamely over at Lalli. It's soft, all it does is lightly whap into his shoulder and flop down onto the bed, but he's making a point.

The point is shut up, whiner. Emil sighs again, reaching up to shake his hair out of its residual ponytail shape as he twists and gets up off the bed.]

I'm taking a break! I'll be right back.

[He needs a bathroom mirror and 2 minutes, both to fix his hair properly and to get away from Lalli's weird hissy fit for a bit. Stay there, chill out...

He'll be back in 2 minutes, hands on hips, giving Lalli a Look.]

Are you okay now?

[It was stupid because it caught him totally off guard! Just like the ponytail holder pinging off his shoulder catches him off guard, actually, because of course he's spent the last minute or so pointedly not letting his eyes wander over in Emil's direction. He starts in surprise, automatically looking down at the makeshift missile before reaching right out to snatch it up. Rude! So rude! He's going to throw it right back at—

—the boy who is apparently leaving? Ah. Well, annoyed he may be, but that doesn't mean that Lalli is glad to see Emil (and his messy hair) walk out of the room. What is he supposed to do now... like, a contrary part of him says that he should take a break of his own, maybe go find something to gnaw on while Emil does whatever he's doing, but—fine. Fine. He will indeed just stay slumped against the wall like this, absentmindedly stretching this elastic thing between his fingers as his injured pride slowly recovers.

And you know, maybe all of this boring waiting is worth it when Emil reappears? Not that Lalli is going to say that, of course; the plan is to just glance over Emil's way before returning to this hairband-stretching exercise, but a glance turns into a lingering sort of look when he takes in the new state of Emil's hair. ...Much better! Much, much better, Emil, so catch that absurdly soft approval that Lalli is unknowingly throwing out into the mental world. That, plus... a vague sense of disappointment? Not because the hair is exactly like it should be; that's obviously a good thing, but he didn't get to exercise his Best Friend Privilege and... help fix it...

...Hmm. Well. Now he shifts his attention back down to Emil's dumb ponytail holder, trying to think solely about this tangible thing.]

I was okay. Before.

[There's still some pettiness to be found there, but there isn't nearly as much as there was, like, a few short minutes ago. Hair magic.]

Edited 2019-04-02 06:57 (UTC)

[When will Lalli learn to just admit he's petty? Emil can admit he's petty. It's such a relief! Whatever. Emil sighs and sits back down on the bed, this time scooting back up against the wall next to Lalli instead of staring at him from the other end. Hi, okay boy.

...And hi, okay boy's many fond thoughts about his hair? Again? It's good to know he didn't imagine all of that hair stuff, but hmm, maybe they need to practice shields more so that Emil doesn't feel like he's reading Lalli's private diary every time they make eye contact. The delicate balance between the admittedly very nice feeling he gets when it's, uh, evident that Lalli likes how his hair looks... and the persistent other feeling that Lalli still doesn't know that's happening.

Not that Emil is going to say anything. And break the spell? Probably upset Lalli again? No way.]

Alright, alright. Let me try for real this time, okay?

[They could hold hands again, but Emil has better ideas, namely sliding his arm around Lalli's shoulders and giving him a friendly squeeze. Okay?? Best friends?? He has principles enough not to keep apologizing out loud, but really, this is just a softer, silent apology... As Lalli's pettiness fades, so does Emil's feeling that his mind punch was totally justified. Oops.]

No more hitting! I promise!

[Lalli will admit that he's petty when he matures, so, uh. Hopefully Emil minds waiting just as much as Lalli minds Emil, like, dropping right down beside him, which is to say—not much. Not much at all, really, even when Emil goes for the classic side-hug. Is this a whole lot of unexpected contact? Yes. Does Lalli automatically tense up and unknowingly send forth a brief buzz of confusion? Yes. Does he try to pull away? No. It's... Emil; what would earn anyone else a shove only earns him a puzzled sort of look, because ah, this must mean that things are... fine again. Maybe. Hopefully.

...Hmm. That hairband is still stretched between two of his fingers, but he swiftly rolls it over his hand and up onto his wrist without even giving it so much as a glance. Don't notice it! Don't ask for it back! It was lost the second he rudely shot it Lalli's way!]

Good.

[It STUNG in more ways than one, but—okay, okay. Some effort is clearly being put forth here, and the hair is back to normal, so almost all is right with the world; therefore, Lalli knows that he, too, should... do something. Try? Actually try to do a good best friend thing? Goodness.]

...It wasn't bad. It... worked, [he reluctantly says, shifting slightly before he makes sure to add:] But a shield is always better.

[Look, he met Emil... halfway here; now he's allowed to drop his hands into his lap and watch him in what is clearly an expectant manner, because any day now, best friend. Impress him with a solid mental shield any day now.]

[Emil will be waiting for Lalli's maturity to level up for the rest of his life and he is already resigned to that fact. Tolerating his side hugs is good enough for now, anyway, leaving Emil to, uh... do this magic thing...

Like, cold? Like straight from nothing, just do this magic thing? He supposes he deserves to be left hanging after everything else he just did, but damn, this is going to be a hotter mess than usual.]

Ummmm... alright. Well, hold onto your seat, I guess.

[Because his inevitable failure will be catastrophic— no, no, but it will be a lot of watching Emil sit there with his eyes shut for some time. This time he actually tries to do what Lalli told him - focus on what he wants to protect, etc, build something? Push something—?

It's a pathetic result at first, of course, a kind of flickering along their link as Emil tries and fails to get a shield of any strength to stick. He can't feel his way through this, he's too literal-minded even without his lack of natural skill at Craft. Maybe if he just pictures something like... building some walls and shutting a door... and then pictures that again, and again more insistently— some kind of fragile shield will form and cut off their mutual awareness again. It has the structural integrity of tissue paper, but it's there after a grueling, like, ten minutes.

He opens one eye and directs this dumb expression at Lalli. Hmmmmm? Did he do it??]

[Ten minutes spent studying Emil isn't the worst thing in the world; it's not something Lalli is going to complain about, partly because he can feel that Emil is actually putting some effort forth here... and partly because staring is just, you know. His brand. He thinks nothing of allowing his eyes to idly wander over that familiar face as he tunes in to Emil's thought process. A wall? Good. A door slamming shut?

Well, almost. Not quite, but all that matters is that Emil's thoughts are now... muffled; like, there's clearly something there this time, and that's progress! Yeah! But that doesn't stop Lalli from pulling a slight face as he mentally prods that barrier.]

...Hrmh.

[It's not an ideal shield, that noise suggests, but he reaches up to gingerly pat the arm that's still around him. Weird? Kind of? Not entirely, anyway, which is why he decides against pushing it away at this point in time. If it somehow helps Emil focus on the task at hand...]

Like that, but... better. [Because it's easily poppable in this current state, a thing Lalli demonstrates by... gently popping it like a soap bubble. Ah, hello, Emil's much louder thoughts...] See?

[—So no, he didn't do it, not really. Lalli pops his shield like it's nothing and Emil sighs, letting his head thunk back against the wall in his crushing despair. No, it's disappointment; he really thought he had it! This, the first time he actually earnestly tried to do this difficult magical thing... he thought he had it.

The side hug has gone from silent apology to moral support, so bear with him in that regard for a little longer.]

Your magic rock is better than mine, anyway. [whine whine] Isn't that how it works? You can do whatever you want to me and I can't do anything about it?

[This is a... very loose, highly uninformed interpretation of Jewel Rules...]

[This whiny boy... like, Lalli only knows the bare minimum about Jewels and How They Operate, but still! This whiny boy. It's not like he casts every spell perfectly the first time, especially not in this place...

...But that isn't something he thinks to share, of course, so he settles for just... turning his head to watch Emil do what he's best at.]

Only if your shield is bad. Like that one was, [he says in a very matter-of-fact way, because boosting someone up? What?] If your shield is strong, it takes more time to break. More magic. Then other people will think they've won, and you can do... the other thing.

[Sock them—note: not him, because he would never do this—RIGHT in the mental nose when they bust down that door. Maybe it wasn't the worst tactic, Emil... maybe it wasn't, which is why Lalli looks to the side and reluctantly admits:]

...You broke my shield.

[Which was weak as fuck, but it's still the truth! Never say Lalli doesn't try to support his friend...]

...Oh. Well, I wasn't trying to.

[He won on a technicality?? Either way, this doesn't really count as encouragement, but he still appreciates it... somewhat. It's Effort, and that gets Lalli maybe three whole points. Good work, best friend.]

It would probably be faster to do the other thing from the start, but I see your point.

[No getting huffy at him for that! He's just saying, it seems more efficient for him, a dunce who can't do magic, to skip the harder, more tiring step.

Anyway, he's earned a break, so he's shutting his eyes and really committing to leaning back here. Not sleeping! But resting.]

I'll try again in five minutes. No, ten minutes.

[He didn't win anything, thank you! It was a fluke, but while Lalli could explain why it's better to start with a shield than a punch... mmph. Emil left once; does Lalli want Emil to leave again? For the rest of the day, perhaps? Not that Emil typically pulls moves like that, but Lalli does, so...

So it doesn't seem out of the question, which is why Lalli only gives him a mild Look as he makes himself comfortable. That was, like, one serious attempt...]

...Five. You're not tired.

[Buddy, he knows it wasn't that bad? He is JUST saying, even as he continues making no attempt to pull free from the surprisingly heavy arm that's still on his shoulders. What is he supposed to do for five whole minutes, huh? Continue watching Emil's annoying face?

Well, he could. Really. In fact, it's what he does until he remembers the hairband sitting snugly on his wrist. It's his now; he doesn't seriously want to give it up, for some stupid reason, and yet—hmm. Hmm. He's bored, he's oddly restless, and payback is... a bitch.

Except not really, because the hairband Lalli sends flying toward Emil's forehead hits him just as softly as it hit Lalli's shoulder earlier.]

[Wow, whiner. Emil's eyes are already closed, but he still spares a moment to frown and raise an eyebrow. This boy...]

Ten!

[Just watch him rest for ten minutes! Telling him he's not tired, please... being tired isn't the point of this well-deserved break. He's comfortable like this, which is more important, even if he doesn't really consider whether or not Lalli minds being stuck to his side. He hasn't made a fuss about it, so Emil can only assume this is... just fine! And very comfortable.

Until he gets a hairband in the face, which is somehow unexpected. He didn't realize Lalli took it, it was just forgotten to time... aha. Sadly, he's endeared by this, so Lalli's revenge plot has failed.]

You are being difficult. [Let him have his minutes!]

[Why didn't that work? That totally should have worked, but... alas. It's not like Lalli has any other great ideas up his sleeve, aside from, like, giving Emil a good shake, or slipping out from under this arm and wandering about the room.

...He's restless, but he's not that restless. Not yet, anyway. Still, he continues watching Emil for another few seconds before he expresses his frustration the best way he knows how:]

Psh.

[There! Take that as he crosses his arms and also settles back against the wall, because what else is he supposed to do! Dumb boy... Lalli will just be Here, trying to count down the remaining seconds because he's seriously that petty.]

[That's right, deal with him being this way. Does a tiiiny bit of smugness sneak through their link when he feels Lalli settle in for some good old sitting for ten more minutes? Yes, definitely. Endure.]

Thank you.

[Enjoy counting those seconds! Be precise about it, or else Emil will really commit to resting and decide taking a proper nap is better than shield practice.]

[Sitting and staring at the opposite wall... is not Lalli's idea of a good time, which is why he slowly slides lower and lower, chin sinking into his chest as he acts like a petulant child who's been told to just sit there and wait patiently. He doesn't want to? He wants to... continue the lesson, or listen to Emil talk, or something. This is torturous...

But Emil seems comfortable? Weirdly so. Lalli shifts around a bit when he believes the correct amount of seconds have passed, trying to see if Emil really has fallen asleep before he gently nudges Emil's side. Hello? You're awake, right? Maybe Lalli is terrible at math, and maybe he let a few more seconds pass by than he really should have, but don't leave him alone like this???]

[Lalli, darling, dearest, please let him have this. He's still not sleeping yet, so all of Lalli's fidgeting is very easily noticeable and he is not going to respond because he earned this and Lalli is being a baby.

What else is new, right?

But god, it never ends—]

Lalli, come on— [Nope, that's it! Needy child behavior begets equally childish behavior, so instead of just scooting away and looking alive, Emil goes for the ultimate move when children won't stop poking you: hug them so they can't move so much anymore, GOD. It takes only a little maneuvering, since Lalli decided to melt in the past few minutes, but consider yourself hugged, rude boy.

So there. Hmph.]

What is so wrong with taking a break for ten minutes?

[Too bad Emil couldn't ignore Lalli for another minute! Too bad! But this is fine... in that it's, you know, not fine at all, because of all the ways Lalli expected Emil to react? This is definitely a surprise, which is the only reason he doesn't even try to fight back when he's yanked so close. Goodbye, admittedly tiny space between them; hello, sudden jolt of confusion. Um?

...Um????

Well, give him a second here! He has to kind of twist a bit to blink up at Emil with wide eyes, but that's hard enough as it is; pulling away is clearly going to take some effort, so until he can, like, free an arm and push Emil away, he... is stuck. Right against Emil's side. Which is warm. Soft? ...Hmm.]

Ah— [The question! Yes! Why was it such a big deal, aside from his own weird restlessness.] You... would have fallen asleep?

[Not entirely true, but good enough when his brain is currently rebooting.]

[The tables have turned...! Emil is satisfied with this crushing victory, at least until he's distracted by Lalli looking at him like that, so... up close. Not that this inspires him to let go, but hi; nice eyes? He's not entirely sure how to parse that expression.

He would have fallen asleep, jesus—]

So? Is there— [mmh, now he has to glance away, only a touch awkwardly. He did this, and yet...] Is there an emergency I need to know about?

[It's a hard expression to parse, given that Lalli is feeling so many things at one time? He's just a jumble of... something. Many somethings, really, but it's not a terribly uncomfortable existence until Emil up and looks away from him.

...Ah. Well. Now a clear sense of discomfort creeps across that mental link, because maybe he... should have pulled away well before this. Maybe that's what was expected, even though Emil's grip on him is as tight as ever.]

...Nnnno. [Obviously NOT, but—mmph. He gingerly shifts his weight to the side, trying to judge how much space he can put back between them at this point in time. Answer: not much.] You can sleep. If you want to.

[He just thought that Emil wanted to give it a few more tries, at least, but he'll... leave? That seems like an okay idea.]

[Once again, Lalli assumes he should have stopped doing the wrong thing. Emil looks back at him again when he tries to move; excuse you? There will be no sliding away and leaving for hours and hours to sulk in some dirty alley somewhere, which is clearly the only thing Lalli does when he's not around Emil. None of that.]

No, no, I'm awake. It's fine! You should stay.

[Just making that very clear: do not slink away and leave him here because of some errant poking and hairband-shooting. He'd have to be bothered, and nobody wants that. But he supposes the time to cling onto Lalli like this has, uh, ended, and at last he loosens his grip to just a side hug. Then just a shoulder pat.

There, see? Everybody is great, even if hugging Lalli under less weird circumstances would have been... hmm. Nice. He'll just pocket that thought for another time. For now he wiggles his hand down to take hold of Lalli's, since this thing has already been deemed acceptable. Stay here, don't look at him like that, shh.]

Show me how to do the shield again?

[Oh? Well... good, Lalli supposes. It's not like he really wanted to leave, a thing that strikes him when that arm slides away and he's able to finally straighten back up. He likes spending time with Emil, even when that involves frustrating magic lessons? He likes when Emil pays attention to him instead of dozing the fuck off? He likes when Emil holds his hand like this, even though having an arm around him for such a long period of time wasn't... the worst thing...

...But hand-holding is a much easier thing to understand, so he's... fine with this. Fine with curling his fingers around Emil's as he shifts his thoughts away from Touching and toward, um, actual magic. Shields! Aha.]

Mmh.

[He can indeed do that, after he glances down at their hands one last time. Okay! Magic! Time to do exactly what he did last time and kind of... pull Emil's mind toward his, which once again allows Emil to clearly hear all of his surface-level thoughts. Which... involve more concern regarding whether or not Emil is actually paying attention, but at least there's no hair commentary this time; there's just, like, a vague relief that things are fine, a general happiness that Emil didn't fall asleep and/or leave, plus the occasional thought regarding The Hug that's best described as... "???" Good/weird/comfortable/Too Much/possibly enjoyable/confusing, all rolled into one incomprehensible mess.

So just... focus on the steps of this spell, Emil. Lalli goes through them just as slowly this time as he did last time, but pretty soon—ah, there it is. Total mental silence. ...Which is still strange, even the second time around; it's why Lalli gives Emil's hand an unconscious little squeeze, just like he's making sure it's there.]

[Good— this is back to normal, then, and Emil is Content with it. He'll follow Lalli's unconventional magic lesson as best he can, and he won't enjoy being frustrated with his own ability much, but it's a frustration he can understand. A frustration that's his own fault, without any hard-to-parse input from anyone else...

So! He's paying attention! That particular errant thought gets him to scoff, which proves that he is focused here, so don't complain about it. It's easy to watch Lalli, as it were— whatever a better word for this is. To feel? To experience the magic, as a spectator, both there-and-here, inside this mental link and sitting here on the bed with Lalli's hand in his, a unique and frankly overwhelming experience when he actually sinks into it to follow the steps—

And then it stops, and it's only Lalli's hand in his, and he blinks and looks down at their hands like he, too, is a little lost for a second.]

I'm going to do it again, so don't get mad, but... [Hmm. How does he word this? His own experience with this kind of thing, the meeting of the minds, must be different than Lalli's... Lalli knows what he's doing, Lalli understands this more... so maybe it isn't a huge deal just to feel those surface level thoughts. But for Emil, who is not a mage and doesn't really like magic when he has to do it himself, this is— hmm—]

Well, I don't like it when I don't know you're there, you know? Like this. ["This" being a gesture between their heads with his other hand, this mind thing.] I suppose I got used to you.

[COOL, ANYWAY..... uh, he should do a shield thing, huh. Let him Think... maybe about bubbles instead of doors this time.]

["Don't get mad," Emil says, and Lalli fully expects him to ask for another ten minute break, or a nap, or a something; maybe it's a good thing, then, that their mental link is temporarily blocked, because it saves Emil from feeling Lalli's... confused frustration bubble back up as he waits for his friend to just spit it out. There's no one Lalli enjoys being around more than Emil, but ooh, this boy...

...This boy isn't asking for anything at all. Ah. This boy is, in fact, giving voice to thoughts that are so similar to Lalli's own that he's momentarily taken aback, because isn't that how he would put this? That he's used to feeling like Emil is there on a deeper level? Or, well—it's more than that, really. One can get used to anything without necessarily liking it; Lalli, however, likes this mental link of theirs... very, very much. There's something comforting about it, about feeling those brief flashes of Emil™ that pop into his mind randomly throughout the day. It's a reminder that, no matter where Emil actually is, he's still here.

And there's another thing at play here, too: the distant knowledge that Emil is the only person Lalli would enjoy, mmm, linking up with like this. Even a connection with Onni would feel odd—oppressive?—instead of comfortable, but Emil is... special. In all things, really. In all ways.]

I know. [Or, more accurately: he understands.] It's... quiet here, and I thought it was good? It is good, but...

[Mmph. Emil needs to focus on his shield-making, Lalli knows, and yet as he twists his hand about, working on weaving his fingers through Emil's—]

Not when it's you.

[But okay, okay! That felt like... a lot for them to say, for whatever reason, so when their hands are just how he wants them to be he'll once again focus on magic. Try to focus on magic? Whatever! Just know that he'll poke that shield when it's up!]

i make another inbox post

no subject

no subject

no subject

me? late? what?

late? never heard of her

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

you know what you needed? another real gay tag

it was an onslaught and my phone was not prepared