illequipped: (133)
emil västerström ([personal profile] illequipped) wrote2019-04-28 08:30 pm

i make another inbox post


now it's for a gentle night
ilves: (132)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-02 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
[Listen, it's hard to process both strong (and somewhat surprising?) emotions and every tiny, insignificant thought that just so happens to float to the surface. Something's gotta give, which means that Lalli obviously decides to go with... being a petty child. It's practically second nature for him!

So does he lean away when Emil leans in? Yes. Does he put more space between them when Emil finally settles back? No, but he considers it, because this lesson isn't—wasn't?—about improvisation; this lesson is—was?—all about Emil learning to create a simple mental shield, all so that he can, you know, protect himself when Lalli isn't around... when a better-prepared mental shield won't just shatter after one hit...

...But explaining that is, like, nigh impossible at this point in time, especially after Emil brings up his ridiculous hair. No, Lalli isn't about to look back over at it, but there's a clear do-not-like vibe that flickers across this mental link of theirs. Like Lalli just took a bite of something and did not enjoy it.
]

It was stupid? It won't work all of the time, [he sullenly repeats, really trying to drive that point him, before he pauses for all of a second.] ...And I don't care about your weird hair.

[Obviously he does, since he felt the need to say that, but! Hmph!]
ilves: (63)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-02 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
[It was stupid because it caught him totally off guard! Just like the ponytail holder pinging off his shoulder catches him off guard, actually, because of course he's spent the last minute or so pointedly not letting his eyes wander over in Emil's direction. He starts in surprise, automatically looking down at the makeshift missile before reaching right out to snatch it up. Rude! So rude! He's going to throw it right back at—

—the boy who is apparently leaving? Ah. Well, annoyed he may be, but that doesn't mean that Lalli is glad to see Emil (and his messy hair) walk out of the room. What is he supposed to do now... like, a contrary part of him says that he should take a break of his own, maybe go find something to gnaw on while Emil does whatever he's doing, but—fine. Fine. He will indeed just stay slumped against the wall like this, absentmindedly stretching this elastic thing between his fingers as his injured pride slowly recovers.

And you know, maybe all of this boring waiting is worth it when Emil reappears? Not that Lalli is going to say that, of course; the plan is to just glance over Emil's way before returning to this hairband-stretching exercise, but a glance turns into a lingering sort of look when he takes in the new state of Emil's hair. ...Much better! Much, much better, Emil, so catch that absurdly soft approval that Lalli is unknowingly throwing out into the mental world. That, plus... a vague sense of disappointment? Not because the hair is exactly like it should be; that's obviously a good thing, but he didn't get to exercise his Best Friend Privilege and... help fix it...

...Hmm. Well. Now he shifts his attention back down to Emil's dumb ponytail holder, trying to think solely about this tangible thing.
]

I was okay. Before.

[There's still some pettiness to be found there, but there isn't nearly as much as there was, like, a few short minutes ago. Hair magic.]
Edited 2019-04-02 06:57 (UTC)
ilves: (61)

me? late? what?

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-06 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
[Lalli will admit that he's petty when he matures, so, uh. Hopefully Emil minds waiting just as much as Lalli minds Emil, like, dropping right down beside him, which is to say—not much. Not much at all, really, even when Emil goes for the classic side-hug. Is this a whole lot of unexpected contact? Yes. Does Lalli automatically tense up and unknowingly send forth a brief buzz of confusion? Yes. Does he try to pull away? No. It's... Emil; what would earn anyone else a shove only earns him a puzzled sort of look, because ah, this must mean that things are... fine again. Maybe. Hopefully.

...Hmm. That hairband is still stretched between two of his fingers, but he swiftly rolls it over his hand and up onto his wrist without even giving it so much as a glance. Don't notice it! Don't ask for it back! It was lost the second he rudely shot it Lalli's way!
]

Good.

[It STUNG in more ways than one, but—okay, okay. Some effort is clearly being put forth here, and the hair is back to normal, so almost all is right with the world; therefore, Lalli knows that he, too, should... do something. Try? Actually try to do a good best friend thing? Goodness.]

...It wasn't bad. It... worked, [he reluctantly says, shifting slightly before he makes sure to add:] But a shield is always better.

[Look, he met Emil... halfway here; now he's allowed to drop his hands into his lap and watch him in what is clearly an expectant manner, because any day now, best friend. Impress him with a solid mental shield any day now.]
ilves: (14)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-07 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ten minutes spent studying Emil isn't the worst thing in the world; it's not something Lalli is going to complain about, partly because he can feel that Emil is actually putting some effort forth here... and partly because staring is just, you know. His brand. He thinks nothing of allowing his eyes to idly wander over that familiar face as he tunes in to Emil's thought process. A wall? Good. A door slamming shut?

Well, almost. Not quite, but all that matters is that Emil's thoughts are now... muffled; like, there's clearly something there this time, and that's progress! Yeah! But that doesn't stop Lalli from pulling a slight face as he mentally prods that barrier.
]

...Hrmh.

[It's not an ideal shield, that noise suggests, but he reaches up to gingerly pat the arm that's still around him. Weird? Kind of? Not entirely, anyway, which is why he decides against pushing it away at this point in time. If it somehow helps Emil focus on the task at hand...]

Like that, but... better. [Because it's easily poppable in this current state, a thing Lalli demonstrates by... gently popping it like a soap bubble. Ah, hello, Emil's much louder thoughts...] See?
ilves: (35)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
[This whiny boy... like, Lalli only knows the bare minimum about Jewels and How They Operate, but still! This whiny boy. It's not like he casts every spell perfectly the first time, especially not in this place...

...But that isn't something he thinks to share, of course, so he settles for just... turning his head to watch Emil do what he's best at.
]

Only if your shield is bad. Like that one was, [he says in a very matter-of-fact way, because boosting someone up? What?] If your shield is strong, it takes more time to break. More magic. Then other people will think they've won, and you can do... the other thing.

[Sock them—note: not him, because he would never do this—RIGHT in the mental nose when they bust down that door. Maybe it wasn't the worst tactic, Emil... maybe it wasn't, which is why Lalli looks to the side and reluctantly admits:]

...You broke my shield.

[Which was weak as fuck, but it's still the truth! Never say Lalli doesn't try to support his friend...]
ilves: (161)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
[He didn't win anything, thank you! It was a fluke, but while Lalli could explain why it's better to start with a shield than a punch... mmph. Emil left once; does Lalli want Emil to leave again? For the rest of the day, perhaps? Not that Emil typically pulls moves like that, but Lalli does, so...

So it doesn't seem out of the question, which is why Lalli only gives him a mild Look as he makes himself comfortable. That was, like, one serious attempt...
]

...Five. You're not tired.

[Buddy, he knows it wasn't that bad? He is JUST saying, even as he continues making no attempt to pull free from the surprisingly heavy arm that's still on his shoulders. What is he supposed to do for five whole minutes, huh? Continue watching Emil's annoying face?

Well, he could. Really. In fact, it's what he does until he remembers the hairband sitting snugly on his wrist. It's his now; he doesn't seriously want to give it up, for some stupid reason, and yet—hmm. Hmm. He's bored, he's oddly restless, and payback is... a bitch.

Except not really, because the hairband Lalli sends flying toward Emil's forehead hits him just as softly as it hit Lalli's shoulder earlier.
]
ilves: (23)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[Why didn't that work? That totally should have worked, but... alas. It's not like Lalli has any other great ideas up his sleeve, aside from, like, giving Emil a good shake, or slipping out from under this arm and wandering about the room.

...He's restless, but he's not that restless. Not yet, anyway. Still, he continues watching Emil for another few seconds before he expresses his frustration the best way he knows how:
]

Psh.

[There! Take that as he crosses his arms and also settles back against the wall, because what else is he supposed to do! Dumb boy... Lalli will just be Here, trying to count down the remaining seconds because he's seriously that petty.]
ilves: (109)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Sitting and staring at the opposite wall... is not Lalli's idea of a good time, which is why he slowly slides lower and lower, chin sinking into his chest as he acts like a petulant child who's been told to just sit there and wait patiently. He doesn't want to? He wants to... continue the lesson, or listen to Emil talk, or something. This is torturous...

But Emil seems comfortable? Weirdly so. Lalli shifts around a bit when he believes the correct amount of seconds have passed, trying to see if Emil really has fallen asleep before he gently nudges Emil's side. Hello? You're awake, right? Maybe Lalli is terrible at math, and maybe he let a few more seconds pass by than he really should have, but don't leave him alone like this???
]
ilves: (110)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Too bad Emil couldn't ignore Lalli for another minute! Too bad! But this is fine... in that it's, you know, not fine at all, because of all the ways Lalli expected Emil to react? This is definitely a surprise, which is the only reason he doesn't even try to fight back when he's yanked so close. Goodbye, admittedly tiny space between them; hello, sudden jolt of confusion. Um?

...Um????

Well, give him a second here! He has to kind of twist a bit to blink up at Emil with wide eyes, but that's hard enough as it is; pulling away is clearly going to take some effort, so until he can, like, free an arm and push Emil away, he... is stuck. Right against Emil's side. Which is warm. Soft? ...Hmm.
]

Ah— [The question! Yes! Why was it such a big deal, aside from his own weird restlessness.] You... would have fallen asleep?

[Not entirely true, but good enough when his brain is currently rebooting.]
ilves: (239)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
[It's a hard expression to parse, given that Lalli is feeling so many things at one time? He's just a jumble of... something. Many somethings, really, but it's not a terribly uncomfortable existence until Emil up and looks away from him.

...Ah. Well. Now a clear sense of discomfort creeps across that mental link, because maybe he... should have pulled away well before this. Maybe that's what was expected, even though Emil's grip on him is as tight as ever.
]

...Nnnno. [Obviously NOT, but—mmph. He gingerly shifts his weight to the side, trying to judge how much space he can put back between them at this point in time. Answer: not much.] You can sleep. If you want to.

[He just thought that Emil wanted to give it a few more tries, at least, but he'll... leave? That seems like an okay idea.]
ilves: (117)

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-08 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh? Well... good, Lalli supposes. It's not like he really wanted to leave, a thing that strikes him when that arm slides away and he's able to finally straighten back up. He likes spending time with Emil, even when that involves frustrating magic lessons? He likes when Emil pays attention to him instead of dozing the fuck off? He likes when Emil holds his hand like this, even though having an arm around him for such a long period of time wasn't... the worst thing...

...But hand-holding is a much easier thing to understand, so he's... fine with this. Fine with curling his fingers around Emil's as he shifts his thoughts away from Touching and toward, um, actual magic. Shields! Aha.
]

Mmh.

[He can indeed do that, after he glances down at their hands one last time. Okay! Magic! Time to do exactly what he did last time and kind of... pull Emil's mind toward his, which once again allows Emil to clearly hear all of his surface-level thoughts. Which... involve more concern regarding whether or not Emil is actually paying attention, but at least there's no hair commentary this time; there's just, like, a vague relief that things are fine, a general happiness that Emil didn't fall asleep and/or leave, plus the occasional thought regarding The Hug that's best described as... "???" Good/weird/comfortable/Too Much/possibly enjoyable/confusing, all rolled into one incomprehensible mess.

So just... focus on the steps of this spell, Emil. Lalli goes through them just as slowly this time as he did last time, but pretty soon—ah, there it is. Total mental silence. ...Which is still strange, even the second time around; it's why Lalli gives Emil's hand an unconscious little squeeze, just like he's making sure it's there.
]
ilves: in three (163)

it was an onslaught and my phone was not prepared

[personal profile] ilves 2019-04-10 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
["Don't get mad," Emil says, and Lalli fully expects him to ask for another ten minute break, or a nap, or a something; maybe it's a good thing, then, that their mental link is temporarily blocked, because it saves Emil from feeling Lalli's... confused frustration bubble back up as he waits for his friend to just spit it out. There's no one Lalli enjoys being around more than Emil, but ooh, this boy...

...This boy isn't asking for anything at all. Ah. This boy is, in fact, giving voice to thoughts that are so similar to Lalli's own that he's momentarily taken aback, because isn't that how he would put this? That he's used to feeling like Emil is there on a deeper level? Or, well—it's more than that, really. One can get used to anything without necessarily liking it; Lalli, however, likes this mental link of theirs... very, very much. There's something comforting about it, about feeling those brief flashes of Emil™ that pop into his mind randomly throughout the day. It's a reminder that, no matter where Emil actually is, he's still here.

And there's another thing at play here, too: the distant knowledge that Emil is the only person Lalli would enjoy, mmm, linking up with like this. Even a connection with Onni would feel odd—oppressive?—instead of comfortable, but Emil is... special. In all things, really. In all ways.
]

I know. [Or, more accurately: he understands.] It's... quiet here, and I thought it was good? It is good, but...

[Mmph. Emil needs to focus on his shield-making, Lalli knows, and yet as he twists his hand about, working on weaving his fingers through Emil's—]

Not when it's you.

[But okay, okay! That felt like... a lot for them to say, for whatever reason, so when their hands are just how he wants them to be he'll once again focus on magic. Try to focus on magic? Whatever! Just know that he'll poke that shield when it's up!]